“what level of pandemic fatigue are you on right now”

well, tomorrow i have to go have my spine x-rayed, and I’m honestly really excited about it because it means I’ll be somewhere other than my house for a while

…on a mostly but not entirely unrelated note, i have been sitting here for two hours thinking “wow, I’m really hungry” and then not getting myself any food because I’m too goddamn tired to move

so my kid decided that he is actually Baba from Puffin Rock today, which apparently involves a lot of hugging me and saying “baba love!”. my heart, it has melted into a puddle.

birthday memory thoughts

this time exactly three years ago, i was… in a hospital room with my co-parent, exhaustedly mumbling “but the baby won’t go to sleep in the cot? at all? they’re asleep on me but then i put them SO GENTLY in the cot and they just START SCREAMING? how do they even know?? what am i doing wrong i don’t think this baby is working as intended”

they never did learn to sleep in a cot, and i didn’t get much sleep for their first six months. you know those pictures of opossum mothers with their babies clinging to their fur? that was me.

i almost miss it. but on the other hand, could a tiny clingy newborn build Lego towers with me or tell me about their current favourite dinosaur or run around for an hour shouting “happy birthday! happy birthday! balloons!” or patiently explain to me, at length, that Pikachu is an electric type?

Today was my little bean’s third birthday (holy shit) so i attempted baking by myself for the first time in like… twenty years? currant buns with chocolate sprinkles and icing. they were wonky looking but totally edible!

my windowsill flowers are blissfully unaware that it’s February and have decided to bloom early

can this pandemic please fucking end already. i have no money i can’t just keep buying chocolate and yarn and videogames just to feel something

by 2022 i am expecting to be toothless, completely spherical and wrapped head to foot in bad crochet

Crochet/knitting is so weird because really, all you’re doing is taking a single piece of string and tying it into a very large, complicated knot. ๐Ÿงถ

Clearing out the kitchen drawer today I found a letter inviting me to bring my kid for their two-year health check-up. The date on it? March 18th 2020.

we still haven’t gone for that check-up.

Little pawprints in the snow this morning


having a very bad day pain and fatigue wise, but I managed to do a quick drawing of some mushrooms, so there’s that?

I really wanted to do hourly comic day today, but I’m tired as hell, everything hurts and my kid has been in A Mood, so all i actually have to show for today is a squiggly stag beetle doodle.

It’s been a little while since I did any crochet, but I am really loving this pretty yarn and super simple wrap pattern.

(picture shows the beginnings of a pink and green triangle shaped wrap) ๐Ÿงถ

Just done my… fifth, i think, covid test. God I’m ready for this to be over.

I live with someone who’s immunocompromised, so i have to be super careful, but god, sticking that swab down my throat doesn’t get any more fun.

lockdown toddler parent blues

amount of sleep i got last night: absolutely none

amount of energy my toddler has this morning: all of it

number of times i have tried and failed to get them to put on some pants: six

number of times i have decided fuck it, it’s lockdown, who am i to tell them they have to wear pants in the privacy of their own home: one

how done am i with lockdown: 900%

thoughts on Inside (the game) and its ending, Very Much Spoilers

Spoilers, really, definitely spoilers ahead. .
No, actually, I sort of loved the ending? I’m not sure what happened to the Giant Weird Flesh Blob at the end - was it dead, was it unconscious, was it just resting by the side of the lake for a while to reflect on its freedom? - but it seemed to be at peace, certainly far more so than it had been when it was in a tank being stared at all day. And crashing through the facility breaking everything and watching the people run from me or get crushed underfoot was so fucking satisfying. Fuck you, creepy dystopian overlords.

Honestly it was just… really a good game, generally, I liked how most of the puzzles were solvable just by fucking around and trying things out (not gonna lie, I looked up a walkthrough once or twice, but I didn’t get stuck much). I really loved the boy’s body language, how it changed when he felt safe vs when he was wary and sneaking through somewhere afraid of getting caught; the creators did so much with a small, simple sprite.

… I liked how the title seemed to change to mean different things as I went through the game, too. At first I thought the boy was just trying to get “inside” to safety away from the dogs and the men hunting him down; then I thought, oh, he’s trying to get Inside the facility to do something, break someone out of there or shut it down or something, and then finally I was like, ohhh, he needed to get Inside the tank and the weird limb blob creature, now I get it.


well, I finished Inside, and… uh… that… sure was an ending! ๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿ•น๏ธ

I started playing Inside yesterday, approximately a million years after everyone else, and it is… not what I was expecting. I’m not sure what I was expecting, actually, but it wasn’t “dystopian puzzle platformer”.

It’s really good, tho. ๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿ•น๏ธ

lockdown and language learning

I started learning Swedish on duolingo way back at the beginning of lockdown the first, and i now have a 228 day streak

It’d be nice to say “and now I’m fluent in Swedish! Something positive came out of this shitty past ten months!” but, sadly i am so fucking far from fluent. The most i can say is that i mostly understand how some of its basic grammar works. And I can say “There are several moose in the bathroom” now, so i got that going for me, which is nice.

moved my personal domain to sunbeam.cafe, named after two things i really miss in this freezing lockdown winter

vague introspection

I really want to start blogging more, especially like… long form blogging more so than a twitter replacement. But I always feel like, what am i going to say that’s interesting to anyone? Like, especially now in the weird corona times, my life is very small, really. I’m in a small town with my small child, mostly at home all day except when we go to the park. I read books and play videogames (and sometimes make tiny ones), when I have the mental energy, and i often want to infodump about them, honestly, so there’s that. But it’s not like I’m exactly having wild adventures.

I guess i could just report whatever adorable shit my kid’s been doing that day. It’s generally pretty adorable.

Or try not to worry if anyone ever reads, and just talk. Micro.blog seems good for that.

saw some cool fungus today

Look at this good good girl

A tabby and white cat curled up on a cushion

a friend i met today

a bumblebee on a pink flower